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Fresh garbage

If you’re one of the 0.002 people who visit this blog regularly, you may have noticed that I haven’t written anything on here since I was married a month and a half ago. You’re welcome. I’ve had a lot of things occupying my time. Did I mention I was married? I’m hoping to launch my new website soon. When that happens I’ll be moving this blog directly to My site will have a lot more functionality then, and it will be a lot easier for me to update it. Not that anyone cares how easy I make my own job. But unfortunately for you, you’ll have a lot more of this garbage to read.

Joshua and Donita – September 15, 2007

Joshua and Donita


How many times can Donita say “stop” in 30 seconds?

The Name Game

Besides being a nobody, I’m actually also:

Running for Mayer
Joshua Meyer for Mayer

A famous actor
IMDb actor Josh Meyers

A racecar driver
Josh Meyer 63 Motorsports

An anime voice
Josh Meyer on Anime News Network

A real estate broker
Josh Meyer Real Estate

Although none of these are really me, I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone who has the name Josh Meyer looks like a geek.

Caffeinated blood

Some people can’t sleep when they’re sad. I have no problem when I’m sad, but I can’t sleep at all when I’m excited. It is now only 1,697,406 seconds until my wedding. I haven’t slept for at least 10 days, just from all the excitement. And I for sure won’t sleep the week after the wedding. In fact, I may never sleep again as long as I live. Being the luckiest guy in the world does have it’s disadvantages.


Today I was trying to figure out what the opposite of procrastination is, because if there is such a thing, my fiancé is definitely it. She always likes to get things done way ahead of time. But after hanging out with her for a while with that in mind, I finally discovered that the opposite of procrastination is impatience.

Sign here please

Need some moe fencing?
Moe Fencing


Which way to the full parking lot?
Semi Parking Lot


Am I the only one who’s afraid to park here?
No Parking Any Time

A lovely conversation

Context: I had just gotten home from a 35 mile bike ride…in the rain and hail…with a flat tire. I call my fiancé.

Donita: Are you coming over?
Me: Would you like me to?
Donita: That’s a dumb question.
Me: Should I take a shower first?
Donita: Do you smell really bad?
Me: That’s a dumb question.

Fresh air

I had to buy a can of compressed air the other day. I wasn’t surprised when they asked me for ID, since I’ve kind of gotten used to that sort of thing. But then I put “I was asked for ID” together with “I was buying air.” Obviously they’re trying to prevent teenagers from getting that sort of stuff and inhaling it as a drug. But now I’m finding myself imagining a bunch of drugged-up air-heads saying things like “Hey guys, let’s go ‘air it out'” or “Dude, you got some serious air on that one.”

Laser eyes

Laser eyes - Before and After

This is my own estimated simulation of what I could see before and after LASIK eye surgery. (In this context, simulation basically means that it’s a photoshop blur turned up as far as it could go.) Overall, the surgery was a big success and I would do it over again any day. On the other hand, five separate 200 mile car trips for a surgery that itself only lasted 10 minutes is a little ironic. It’s like building a Rube Goldberg machine for clipping your toenails. And I’m still trying to figure out how a 0.1 oz container of 99.97% water is worth $70 at a pharmacy. But regardless, after a scratched cornea, a rough edge of a cornea flap, 48 eye drops per day, and a quarter million dollars worth of gas, things are looking really good.