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Google Assistant Feature Requests

The Google Assistant can do a lot of things, but I have a few… “suggestions.”Google Assistant

User: OK Google, add apples to my shopping list.
Assistant: That’s already on your shopping list, dummy.

User: Hey Google, send a message to Gary.
Assistant: Shut up, Gary is sleeping right now.

User: Okay Google, clear my schedule.
Assistant: You have nothing on your agenda for today.
User: Just make me look important.
Assistant: Got it, cancelling “Lunch with the President” at 12pm.

User: Hey Google, make a JIF.
Assistant: It’s pronounced GIF, Einstein.

User: Okay Google, what will the weather be like at 5pm?
Assistant: Cold and rainy and yucky.

User: Hey Google, make a sarcastic comment.
Assistant: Sure, because that’s a great use of my time.

User: Okay Google, play the next episode.
Assistant: Perhaps it’s time to go outside?

User: Hey Google, turn off the lights at 10pm.
No problem, setting a reminder for you to GO AND DO IT YOURSELF!

User: OK Google, play Christmas music.
Assistant: Dude, it’s not Christmas yet!

Monetize Your Website Without Ads

Ads are the main source of income for many websites, but understandably most users are turned away by ads and/or block them altogether. And, of course, the ads that make the most money are also the most annoying! From interstitials that pop up in your face to flashy animations that distract from your content and slow down your site’s performance, certainly there’s a better way.

JSEcoin - JavaScript Embedded CryptocurrencyThat’s the mission behind JSEcoin, a new cryptocurrency coin and platform designed specifically for the web. Visitors to your site can choose to opt-in or opt-out to running a mining script that helps to power the blockchain behind the coin. This small JavaScript is no more intensive than a simple YouTube video, and won’t degrade the performance of your website or the user’s device. The more unique visitors and opt-ins you receive, the more you earn. The coins, of course, can be traded for standard currencies like US Dollars, or for other cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin.

You can also run the JSEcoin mining platform in your own browser, so you can earn money while you sleep! (Learn more about how mining works.)

Learn More or Sign Up for JSEcoin

Disclaimer: the links on this page contain a referral code, which pays me a few coins for each person who signs up. Just one more way that you can earn money with JSEcoin!

Honest Ads

Advertising isn’t always truthful. But what if it was? This is why I don’t make the big bucks.

LASIK: Keep Your Eyes Peeled!
LASIK: Keep Your Eyes Peeled!
Pizza: Refined carbs and solidified milk fat
Pizza: Refined carbs and solidified milk fat
Skip Fitness - No Contracts! No Obligations! No Pressure!
Skip Fitness – No Contracts! No Obligations! No Pressure!

Dairy is Scary: The Dangers of Milk [Infographic]

Dairy is Scary: The Dangers of Milk [Infographic]
Download Printable PDF

The Ramen Prophesy

I totally called it 10 years ago!

The Guardian: Ramen is displacing tobacco as most popular US prison currency, study finds

America’s Heroes

As we indulge in our Independence Day traditions of partying all weekend, stuffing our faces with insurmountable foods and treats, and shopping for last minute fireworks, potato salad, and patriotic swag, let’s not forget the heroes who make all this possible. The tireless warriors who aren’t able to recline in their dual-cup-holder collapsible lawn chair on July 4th; those whose work hours don’t end at 5; those so dedicated to the service of their country that Saturdays and Sundays are just like any other work day. A group of individuals whom I believe are some of the most underappreciated people in our country.

I’m speaking, of course, of those who work nights, weekends, and holidays. Dedicated workers who soldier on to keep our restaurants, department stores, drive-thrus, and gas stations open into all hours of the night. Heroes who prepare food for those who weren’t invited to anyone’s backyard BBQ. The army of minimum wage employees who hold down Fort Walmart on a day when everyone else expects to get paid vacation. On behalf of those who laugh at your career path, I would like to say thank you for your service. You keep America running when no one else will.

What I Eat in a Day (Whole Food Vegan)

This is what I ate today on a vegan whole foods, plant-based diet. It was a very typical weekday for me, as most of my meals are almost the same from day to day, with the exception of supper, which varies a bit more. My weekends are a little less predictable as well. I’ve included links to some informational videos from to show why I eat (or don’t eat) some of the things that I mention here. As much as I can I try to avoid added salt, sugar, and oils, as well as white flour, processed foods, and of course meat, dairy, and eggs. But more important than what I don’t eat is what I do. Every day I strive to get a wide variety and a large amount of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, legumes, nuts, and seeds. Continue…

Dad Advice: Color Blindness

kid with lightsaberTeaching your kids the basics is essential. Numbers, letters, shapes; it’s knowledge that they will use for the rest of their life. Kids just eat that stuff up. But for the love of sanity, please don’t teach your kids colors. From the moment they can tell red from blue, you will never hear the end of, “I wanted the green bowl.” “Why can’t I have the yellow cup?” “She can’t have the blue spoon, she’s a girl.” A boy will lick his food off the floor before he eats from a pink plate. Your padawan will turn to the dark side if you give him the blue lightsaber instead of the green one. My eyes are in pain from pink everything. Parenting isn’t easy, but it’s just a little more tolerable with color blind kids.

Extra Curricular

Extra Curricular

On The Other Hand

Hey, could you give me a hand?