Better Left Unsaid

Some people say things that are profound and meaningful. Others spout nonsense that should never be uttered. Here are a few phrases to avoid.

Needless to Say

“Needless to say” is a phrase that, by it’s own definition, should never be uttered. Do yourself a favor, and don’t listen to anything that comes after this.

Are You Sleeping?

When a yes or no question can only be answered one way, it’s no longer a yes or no question. You might as well holler, “You are awake!” If someone hears you, then guess what, you’re right! Yell louder to increase your odds of success.

More or Less

So it could be this number, or it could be…any other number. You might as well just say, “I don’t know.”


In other words, your noggin is in it’s rightful place, north of your feet. If your head is ever not over your heels, something is wrong.

Does This Make Me Look Fat?

Again, there is only one possible answer.

It Goes Without Saying

By now you get the idea. This is what you say when you want to declare to everyone within earshot to ignore this nonsense coming from your pie hole.

Yeah, No

Which one is it!?


[robot voice] Analyzing speech….Generating response….

You might as well have a loading progress bar on your face.

Not to Mention

This is what you say when you want to say you’re not going to say something, and then you immediately say it.

I’m Going to Buy my Dream Car Using Only Swagbucks

A dream car is one of those things that’s hard to justify spending your living on. My solution: earn little by little completing tasks on Swagbucks, and save it up over time (lots of time) to eventually pay for the car of my dreams.

I’ll be posting progress updates on this blog, as well as more details about my Swagbucks earnings and Robinhood investments.


Swagbucks is a place where you can earn real money for doing things like filling out surveys, completing offers, even for just watching videos or playing games! You can also earn pretty decent cashback rewards for your online shopping. Your earnings can be cashed out into a wide variety of gift cards (sometimes for an additional discount) like Amazon, Walmart, or a Visa Prepaid Card. Or you can have your SB sent straight to your PayPal account, as I do, so I can transfer it to my Robinhood investment account and save it up for something bigger than just a free toaster!

Investing with Robinhood

Robinhood Investment Growth

To help me reach my goal faster, I am investing my earnings in stocks and cryptocurrencies with Robinhood. Robinhood is a modern trading platform that doesn’t charge any commissions for trades. This will make it much easier and more profitable for me to work with smaller amounts. I am very new to the stock market, but using the basic principles of buying low and selling high I’m hoping that I can earn a significant return on investment. So far, the results have been very promising!

The Swagmobile

The two ultimate bullet points for my “dream car” are, #1: Fully Electric, and #2: Self-Driving. Everything else is nice, but negotiable.

Right now, the car that fits the bill is the Tesla Model 3. I’ve been a big fan of Tesla since they released their first roadster. It’s a huge dream of mine to own an electric car, and I believe Tesla is the best at this. The Model 3 is their most affordable car yet, starting at (only) $35,000 for the base model. Adding fully self-driving capability will add another $8,000 to the price. The prices can and definitely will change by the time I’m ready to order, and it’s anyone’s guess what the tax incentives will be at that time. So for now I am loosely setting my goal at $40,000.

Is This Possible?

I joined Swagbucks exactly 2 months ago. In that time I’ve earned 24,239 SB (the Swagbucks equivalent of $242). At that pace, it would take me almost 30 years to reach my goal!

However, if my investments and trades do well, it should significantly bring that time down. And you can even help! If you join Swagbucks with my referral link, I will make a 10% commission on all of your earnings for life. (And you also get a nice bonus for signing up!) If I can get only 10 active people to join Swagbucks, that could potentially save me 15 years!

If you’re interested in investing, you can also join Robinhood with my referral link and we both will get a free stock!

So I encourage you to join Swagbucks and Robinhood and start your own goal! If your dream car sounds like too lofty of a goal, try something more manageable, like a new pair of shoes. Or take it to a whole different level and aim for a house! Let’s find out what’s possible with a little bit of work and a whole lot of patience!

Google Assistant Feature Requests

The Google Assistant can do a lot of things, but I have a few… “suggestions.”Google Assistant

User: OK Google, add apples to my shopping list.
Assistant: That’s already on your shopping list, dummy.

User: Hey Google, send a message to Gary.
Assistant: Shut up, Gary is sleeping right now.

User: Okay Google, clear my schedule.
Assistant: You have nothing on your agenda for today.
User: Just make me look important.
Assistant: Got it, cancelling “Lunch with the President” at 12pm.

User: Hey Google, make a JIF.
Assistant: It’s pronounced GIF, Einstein.

User: Okay Google, what will the weather be like at 5pm?
Assistant: Cold and rainy and yucky.

User: Hey Google, make a sarcastic comment.
Assistant: Sure, because that’s a great use of my time.

User: Okay Google, play the next episode.
Assistant: Perhaps it’s time to go outside?

User: Hey Google, turn off the lights at 10pm.
No problem, setting a reminder for you to GO AND DO IT YOURSELF!

User: OK Google, play Christmas music.
Assistant: Dude, it’s not Christmas yet!

America’s Heroes

As we indulge in our Independence Day traditions of partying all weekend, stuffing our faces with insurmountable foods and treats, and shopping for last minute fireworks, potato salad, and patriotic swag, let’s not forget the heroes who make all this possible. The tireless warriors who aren’t able to recline in their dual-cup-holder collapsible lawn chair on July 4th; those whose work hours don’t end at 5; those so dedicated to the service of their country that Saturdays and Sundays are just like any other work day. A group of individuals whom I believe are some of the most underappreciated people in our country.

I’m speaking, of course, of those who work nights, weekends, and holidays. Dedicated workers who soldier on to keep our restaurants, department stores, drive-thrus, and gas stations open into all hours of the night. Heroes who prepare food for those who weren’t invited to anyone’s backyard BBQ. The army of minimum wage employees who hold down Fort Walmart on a day when everyone else expects to get paid vacation. On behalf of those who laugh at your career path, I would like to say thank you for your service. You keep America running when no one else will.

What I Eat in a Day (Whole Food Vegan)

This is what I ate today on a vegan whole foods, plant-based diet. It was a very typical weekday for me, as most of my meals are almost the same from day to day, with the exception of supper, which varies a bit more. My weekends are a little less predictable as well. I’ve included links to some informational videos from to show why I eat (or don’t eat) some of the things that I mention here. As much as I can I try to avoid added salt, sugar, and oils, as well as white flour, processed foods, and of course meat, dairy, and eggs. But more important than what I don’t eat is what I do. Every day I strive to get a wide variety and a large amount of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, legumes, nuts, and seeds. Keep Reading