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Convincing the world I’m a loser since 1985.

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It’s no butterfly

Fly picture - Eye of the Beholder

Yes, I know it’s just an ugly fly and not a beautiful butterfly or something like that, but the detail and clarity and composition is what I’m looking at. This is one of the first images I took with my new camera, the Canon 1Ds Mark II. If you don’t know what kind of camera that is, just know that it’s not your typical point-and-shoot cheapo cam. We’re talking major resolution and quality, and I am truly blessed to have a camera of this caliber. It’s really huge, and the thing must weigh at least twenty pounds. It has endless manual options that I love to tweak to death, and it just takes amazing pictures. Now if I can only get something prettier than a fly to hold still long enough for me to photograph it.

The Foundry

It’s pretty obvious that a photography studio room with three 600 watt halogen lights and no ventilation is going to be pretty hot. I don’t mind it; in fact, I usually tolerate extremes pretty well. But I wanted to find out just how hot it gets in there. So this morning as I was in the studio, I brought with me a thermometer and recorded the temperatures at several minute intervals, starting when I first turned on the lights. Here is what I came up with:

10:45am: 75 degrees F

10:49am: 83 degrees F

10:52am: 94 degrees F

10:56am: 99 degrees F

11:00am: 101 degrees F

11:04am: 105 degrees F

11:11am: 110 degrees F

11:20am: 115 degrees F

Rest in peace

This morning, a loved one very dear to us all has been taken from us. He was such a cheerful soul, and he will always be remembered in our hearts. I cannot be sorrier than to know that I was the one that was driving the car that hit him. I could not hold back a tear as I saw his blood splatter on the road, and he lay there deformed and motionless. I know without a doubt that he did not deserve to go like that. So today I ask that we all observe a moment of silence to remember our dear friend, the squirrel.

Cellout

I think it’s about time I wrote a blog post about how much I hate cell phones. Everybody writes one at one time or another. If anybody thinks they have cell phone problems, think again. Don’t even think about complaining about how your phone won’t let you change the wallpaper until you’ve read about all the grievances my phone has put me through. My phone will randomly and unexplainably turn off and discharge the battery, rendering the phone useless and unusable until the battery is recharged. I have no cell phone service many places I frequently go, including my own home. Half of the buttons on the keypad won’t light up, and the other half won’t work until you push them at least twice. And I even need a screwdriver to change the faceplate. All that and much more, including not playing the ringtone that I select.

Happy new year

I think I finally made the transition to 2005. Way too many times so far this year I’ve screwed up and written ’04 when I meant to write ’05. But it hasn’t happened in a little while and I’m so proud of myself. So welcome to the year 2005. Now I can finally make my new year’s resolutions.

Simon says

This weekend we tried starting the old church van, but it wouldn’t even make a sound. We tried calling a mechanic who told us to tap on the starter with a hammer while turning the ignition and it should start right up. But it didn’t. We then called my dad who’s had quite a history with old church vans. He told us to put the van into gear, rock it back and forth, and then start it. Sure, what a joke. Well we tried it and, what do ya know, it worked. My guess would have been to rub your tummy, pat your nose, jump up and down, and spin in a circle, but I guess that wasn’t necessary.

Got kelp?

Have you ever noticed that they can sell almost anything on TV as a health supplement? I was just watching a breaking news infomercial that was talking about this new health supplement that can help you lose weight, lower cholesterol, keep you from getting sick, and a long list of other benefits. But it’s not only the latest scientific breakthrough. It’s seaweed. Yeah, you heard me right. They scrape up piles of seaweed, bottle it up and sell it and make loads of money. Genius I tell you, genius.

They’re watching you

I cannot believe how many swarms of cops have been buzzing around on this Memorial weekend. I drove by a car yesterday that had gotten pulled over by a cop who apparently had to call for backup. The same day I was walking down the sidewalk and I ran into a cop while I was crossing the street. In addition to various other sightings, I pulled out from a stop sign onto a lonely street later that day. Before I even got up to speed a cop came right up behind me with his bright, colorful lights flashing. I didn’t think I had done anything wrong, but you never know I guess. I wasn’t speeding, that’s for sure, and I stopped at the stop sign. It could be that my car is so out of date that it’s a crime. Or perhaps I look so immature and not old enough to have a license. So I pulled over to the side of the road and watched the squad car go by. Whew.

Zero intolerance

I’m starting to think that I have a very high tolerance for things. I take ridicule and mockery without saying a word; I let little kids beat on me mercilessly; I stand still without making a sound when someone carelessly grabs my severely sunburnt arm; I lend people my jacket on cold days without thinking twice, then shiver and freeze but insist that they keep it. Furthermore, the other day I was in my photo studio taking pictures, and with the combination of quartz-halogen lights and no ventilation, it gets quite hot in there. But just like every other time, I quietly and steadily did my work in the lonely fiery furnace without saying a word. After a couple hours, someone came by to check up on me. As soon as he stepped in the room, he gasped and said, “Oh man is it hot in here. I can’t stand it.”

Is it just me, or is the temperature just right in here?