Thinking Positive – Episode II

The cool part about my job is that pretty much everyone thinks they can do my job better than I can. That makes my job a boat load easier because then all I have to do is move my mouse to wherever they touch my screen with their fingers. This frees up my mind to think about my happy place, or what I should have for lunch.

[More positive thinking]

Finish your soup, dear

Snow is nice. It’s fun to look at and take pictures of. It’s fun to pack into a ball and hurl at someone’s face. It’s fun to ski in and sled in and slip and crack open your head in. It’s fun to stare at a monstrous driveway covered with a foot of the stuff while holding a puny shovel in hand. Well I guess that last one depends on how much of an optimist you are. But seriously, you should try it sometime. If you’ve ever attempted to eat a bowl of soup with a fork, you might have a slight idea of what it’s like.

Thinking Positive – Episode I

There are actually several advantages to living with your parents when you’re old. For one thing, you don’t have to worry about the tv wasting your time because there’s already somebody watching something that you don’t want to watch. And when you put your favorite shirt in the wash, you never see it again, which saves you the trouble of having to pick off the lint. All these and more, not to mention the health benefits from not being allowed to eat what you want.

I love the toilet paper in public bathrooms. The thin profile makes it theoretically impossible to plug the toilet, so you don’t have to use the plunger and get your hands dirty. And the quick dissolvability also saves you from having to moisturize your hands, because it accomplishes this naturally with your own excrement.

I love thinking positive.