Free the mints!

The best part of eating at Pizza Hut has always been the little peppermints you get after the meal. The sweet, round candies with an angelic flavor that leaves a fresh taste in your mouth. But the worst decision Pizza Hut has ever made was a while ago when they decided to switch out the peppermints with their wicked, evil twin, cinnamints. While virtually identical to peppermints, innocent and attractive on the outside, on the inside they are really strong and bitter. What’s even worse is that they have a thin, deceitful layer of peppermint to fool people into thinking that they’ve got the real thing. But as soon as the sugar-coated lie wears off and exposes the filth underneath, they see the malicious treat for what it really is and are immediately turned away. The once happy customer then leaves the restaurant unsatisfied and with a bad taste in their mouth.

We can’t let this go on. We must band together and fight the oppression of the cinnamints. Sign the petition and make a difference. Cinnamon mint is an oxymoron. Bring back the peppermints!

Post-Christmas Recovery

In case anyone was wondering, I had a happy Christmas and a merry new year. My post-Christmas recovery time has mostly consisted of picking the lint off of my new clothes, consuming an entire jar of Tootsie Rolls that I don’t know what else to do with, and pulling the booger glue off of the back of my gift cards. And also working off all those heaps of Christmas cookies. If you’re wondering how I’m working them off, I would say mostly by watching movies and staring at a computer screen. I’ve also spent some time reading the best blonde joke ever.