Disorderly Conduct

Odds & Endings:

I almost got ran over by a crazy driver in an oncoming car. It was a girl driver, obviously.

I spent the better part of my day trying to convince my boss that I did something right the first time.

Today’s Engrish lesson:

Did you know that “fill in” means the same thing as “fill out“?

Proof of Loserocity:

I have toothpaste stains on either my shirt or my face approximately 63.8% of the time.

I got kicked out of the front seat by my little sister’s dolly.

Stupid question of the week:

“Are you deceased?” (I was asked this when filling in/out my taxes)


Hi, I have some more “Engrish lessons!”
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese, so one moose two meese? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and you get rid of all but one, what do you call it? Is it an odd or an end? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Why do people play at a recital and recite at a play? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where your house can burn up as it burns down, and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. Why doesn’t Buick rhyme with quick?

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