Chiming clocks always sound like a good idea until you’ve lived with one for a while. You’ll always know the time, whether you want to or not. But just one attempted nap and the coolness is gone. It will have you pulling out your hair before the third ding of nine o’ clock.

Well my hair has started thinning recently, due to one of these clocks. Just turn off the chime, right? There’s a little switch in the back, right? Not so much. To design a clock that is unable to not chime is kind of broken. So I decided to fix it. I got out my little multi-tool and I fixed it the same way they fix your cat when you don’t want any more kittens.

I neutered the clock.