I live in a very quiet, peaceful neighborhood, and my neighbors mostly just keep to themselves. But there’s something strange about the nice old lady across the street. She sounds harmless right? Well one fine afternoon I stepped outside to do some tree trimming, but before I could so much as pluck off a leaf she runs outside and yells “Hey, you need a ladder?” I could do nothing but stand there and wonder if she’s got some kind of telekineplectic connection to my brain. We bought curtains soon after that.

Update: The plot thickens