The average Joe will tell you that treadmills are useless because people who own them never use them. I’m going to argue with this way of thinking, but not in the way that you might expect. Treadmills are a mistake, not because they’re never used, but because they exist in the first place.

Let’s take a look at the subject in question. A treadmill is a virtual reality device that artificially simulates a cardiovascular activity that involves moving the feet (AKA walking). To say the same thing in non-technical terms, YOU DON’T NEED A TREADMILL TO WALK. Buying a $300-$1000 machine to walk on is like typing on a keyboard with gold plated chopsticks when your fingers work just fine. Or like pretending that Jesus is sitting in the chair next to you when he’s already in the air that you’re breathing. Why just pretend to walk when you can have the real thing?

Despite how worthless the treadmill is, I still admire the guy who invented it. How many other people could take a simple, essential, everyday activity such as walking and turn it into a billion dollar market? The sad thing though, is not that people shell out money for the equivalent of nothing, but that with or without a treadmill people are too lazy to even just walk to the mailbox.