The Google Assistant can do a lot of things, but I have a few… “suggestions.”
 

User: OK Google, add apples to my shopping list.
Assistant: That’s already on your shopping list, dummy.

User: Hey Google, send a message to Gary.
Assistant: Shut up, Gary is sleeping right now.

User: Okay Google, clear my schedule.
Assistant: You have nothing on your agenda for today.
User: Just make me look important.
Assistant: Got it, cancelling “Lunch with the President” at 12pm.

User: Hey Google, make a JIF.
Assistant: It’s pronounced GIF, Einstein.

User: Okay Google, what will the weather be like at 5pm?
Assistant: Cold and rainy and yucky.

User: Hey Google, make a sarcastic comment.
Assistant: Sure, because that’s a great use of my time.

User: Okay Google, play the next episode.
Assistant: Perhaps it’s time to go outside?

User: Hey Google, turn off the lights at 10pm.
No problem, setting a reminder for you to GO AND DO IT YOURSELF!

User: OK Google, play Christmas music.
Assistant: Dude, it’s not Christmas yet!