Some people say things that are profound and meaningful. Others spout nonsense that should never be uttered. Here are a few phrases to avoid.

Needless to Say

“Needless to say” is a phrase that, by it’s own definition, should never be uttered. Do yourself a favor, and don’t listen to anything that comes after this.

Are You Sleeping?

When a yes or no question can only be answered one way, it’s no longer a yes or no question. You might as well holler, “You are awake!” If someone hears you, then guess what, you’re right! Yell louder to increase your odds of success.

More or Less

So it could be this number, or it could be…any other number. You might as well just say, “I don’t know.”

Head-Over-Heels

In other words, your noggin is in it’s rightful place, north of your feet. If your head is ever not over your heels, something is wrong.

Does This Make Me Look Fat?

Again, there is only one possible answer.

It Goes Without Saying

By now you get the idea. This is what you say when you want to declare to everyone within earshot to ignore this nonsense coming from your pie hole.

Yeah, No

Which one is it!?

Um

[robot voice] Analyzing speech….Generating response….

You might as well have a loading progress bar on your face.

Not to Mention

This is what you say when you want to say you’re not going to say something, and then you immediately say it.