I had to buy a can of compressed air the other day. I wasn’t surprised when they asked me for ID, since I’ve kind of gotten used to that sort of thing. But then I put “I was asked for ID” together with “I was buying air.” Obviously they’re trying to prevent teenagers from getting that sort of stuff and inhaling it as a drug. But now I’m finding myself imagining a bunch of drugged-up air-heads saying things like “Hey guys, let’s go ‘air it out'” or “Dude, you got some serious air on that one.”

Okay, I’ll admit it; I don’t look as old as I am. And this fact proves itself by the frequency at which I get asked for ID. I don’t necessarily have a problem with displaying my drivers license to buy a pocket knife from walmart, but what confuses me is when they ask me if I’m 18. My first instinct is to say yes, but that would be untrue, because in fact I’m not 18. I’m 20. So I could either lie and say yes, or I could tell the truth and be denied a movie rental.

It stinks being young. I wish I could just grow up and get on with life. Immaturity is way too prevalent at a young age. When you’re grown up there’s nothing left to learn the hard way, and you don’t have to worry about your eyes getting worse. And there’s no one telling you that you’re too young for things. You have so much freedom, and no one can tell you what to do. Being young is just unproductive and useless fun. And there’s just too many choices, I can never seem to make up my mind…

I wish I didn’t have to grow up so fast. Don’t you just feel so old sometimes? Every old person you talk to will tell you how much they long for the younger days when they didn’t have anything to worry about, and would just have fun all the time. When you’re young you can spend a whole day doing whatever and not have to worry about losing your job and your life falling apart. So I’ve decided to put all my resources together, forget about my life for right now, and do a scientific study to find a cure for getting old. I’m not really sure what it’s gonna take, but whatever it takes it better work. And it better work fast too, before I need to build a time machine as well.