What do you do when you go to a restaurant and find lipstick on your drinking glass? Do you just sit there and ignore it like a good little boy and wind up catching Mad Cow Disease and Bird Flu? Do you blow up at the waitress in a steaming pile of anger and end up with a major headache and a bill for the damages, as well as stitches in your hand from the broken glass? Or do you do what my girlfriend did and politely ask for a new glass, most likely subjecting the rest of the city to the deadly wrath of the red lipstick, spreading AIDS and chicken pox and eventually killing off the human race.

I ended up giving the waitress a generous tip on how to wash dishes.