Thousand Words

A picture is supposed to be worth a thousand words, right? So if you have a typical video that shows 29.97 frames per second, that video should theoretically be worth 29,970 words per second. One minute of video would be worth 1,798,200 words, and an hour would gross 107,892,000 words. So let’s say you have 30 movies that are an hour and a half each. That’s 4,855,140,000 words right there on your bookshelf.

Even my wife doesn’t talk that much.

Extra Cheese

I catch myself sometimes using the words cheesy and corny with the same meaning, but I’ve started to wonder if they mean the same thing or not. I checked out the nutritional facts and found that cheesy is defined as “cheap or poor quality” while corny is synonymous with “old-fashioned and unoriginal.” While cheesy sounds more tasteful to me initially, I think corny might be more wholesome and satisfying.


My wife felt like she would be cool and use the word flabbergasted. Then she asked me what the definition was. “It sounds like someone’s personal problem,” she said. And it does. Just imagine someone saying, “He he, ‘scuse me, I flabbergasted.” Or, “I can’t eat that. It gives me flabbergastion.” I can see someone calling in to work: “I have a flabbergasture of 73.9 and I think it’s contagious because my wife is looking awful flabberghastly.”

Over-Head Trajectory

Over-Head Trajectory Chart

I have a somewhat short attention span, so if someone uses big words while they’re talking to me, they might as well say goodbye to my imagination. Recently, someone had the nerve to say the word fosecious right to my face. Don’t ask me what it means. Worse yet, don’t ask me how to spell it correctly. My spell check doesn’t even know how to spell it. Way over my head. I thought about starting a boycott of big words, but the word boycott itself is kind of pushing it.

Didn’t know that

I was just looking at the definition of the word “know.” Listed among the synonyms were “screw,” “hump,” and “bang.” Funny, but I always thought the definition of know was more something on the order of “to understand something.” I wouldn’t have guessed it to mean the same as a piece of attachment hardware, a camel’s back, or the sound a gun makes. They really don’t make dictionaries like they used to.

Bad language

I work for a music recording company, so I hear technical jargon all the time. Not just the usual stuff like hard drive and RAM, I hear some pretty serious stuff like DMX-4 and 24-80’s and all kinds of stuff with numbers and letters. And that’s just the beginning.

Of course, with myself being a graphic designer, I have my own jargon. But I try to refrain from using it, because the last time I did somebody thought I called them a dingbat.

Disorderly Conduct Vol 2

Losing track of my mind:

I lost track of time as I was getting ready for work this morning. I started running to work so I wouldn’t be late until I realized that I was going to be 15 minutes early.


The central city of the universe

[out in]:
A commonly used phrase that ironically makes sense when used right.

What I’ve learned today:

Out in the country, you can never walk more that thirty-four feet without someone asking if you want a ride. In town you have to wave your arms around for thirty-four minutes before someone finally asks you, not for a ride, but for directions.

Disorderly Conduct

Odds & Endings:

I almost got ran over by a crazy driver in an oncoming car. It was a girl driver, obviously.

I spent the better part of my day trying to convince my boss that I did something right the first time.

Today’s Engrish lesson:

Did you know that “fill in” means the same thing as “fill out“?

Proof of Loserocity:

I have toothpaste stains on either my shirt or my face approximately 63.8% of the time.

I got kicked out of the front seat by my little sister’s dolly.

Stupid question of the week:

“Are you deceased?” (I was asked this when filling in/out my taxes)

Definitions Vol 1

[computer mouse]:
a technologically advanced rodent

the opposite of partial; whole

someone who God doesn’t believe in

inquisitive phrase requesting an action; synonymous with “can you?”

something that annoys me

similar to a paper plane, but made out of air

[word processing]:
what I’m doing when I appear to be in a daze for a few minutes after someone just used a big word