Dad Advice: Color Blindness

kid with lightsaberTeaching your kids the basics is essential. Numbers, letters, shapes; it’s knowledge that they will use for the rest of their life. Kids just eat that stuff up. But for the love of sanity, please don’t teach your kids colors. From the moment they can tell red from blue, you will never hear the end of, “I wanted the green bowl.” “Why can’t I have the yellow cup?” “She can’t have the blue spoon, she’s a girl.” A boy will lick his food off the floor before he eats from a pink plate. Your padawan will turn to the dark side if you give him the blue lightsaber instead of the green one. My eyes are in pain from pink everything. Parenting isn’t easy, but it’s just a little more tolerable with color blind kids.

Miracles

Cole (3 years old): Do you know what Jesus doos when you have a cough?
Me: What does Jesus do?
Cole: He makes the cough go away.
Me: Oh. What does Jesus do when you cut your finger?
Cole: He tells you to go to the doctor.

Zero intolerance

I’m starting to think that I have a very high tolerance for things. I take ridicule and mockery without saying a word; I let little kids beat on me mercilessly; I stand still without making a sound when someone carelessly grabs my severely sunburnt arm; I lend people my jacket on cold days without thinking twice, then shiver and freeze but insist that they keep it. Furthermore, the other day I was in my photo studio taking pictures, and with the combination of quartz-halogen lights and no ventilation, it gets quite hot in there. But just like every other time, I quietly and steadily did my work in the lonely fiery furnace without saying a word. After a couple hours, someone came by to check up on me. As soon as he stepped in the room, he gasped and said, “Oh man is it hot in here. I can’t stand it.”

Is it just me, or is the temperature just right in here?