Cole (3 years old): Do you know what Jesus doos when you have a cough?
Me: What does Jesus do?
Cole: He makes the cough go away.
Me: Oh. What does Jesus do when you cut your finger?
Cole: He tells you to go to the doctor.

Getting The Point Across: Interesting Conversations

Jackie: Scott got a GPC, or whatever they’re called. You know, the thing that tells you where to go.
Me: It’s called a wife, Jackie.

Donita: Where are you?
Me: In the car.
Donita: No, where are you located in the car?
Me: In the driver’s seat.

Cynthia: What does LMAO mean?
Me: It means Laughing My Butt Off.
Cynthia: But that doesn’t w……oh.

Donita: Guess what, Josh, I am done in 2 in a half hours
Me: and a half
Donita: no just two in a half
Me: And a half
Donita: no
Me: two and a half
Donita: lol oha

Sleeping awake

I’m trying to figure out the difference between when my wife is awake or sleeping. You would think I’d be able to tell her status by having a conversation with her. Not so much the case.

Donita: “The ladies are outside playing Yahtzee.”
Me: “Who’s outside?”
Donita: “The ladies”
Me: “Why are they outside?”
Donita: “They’re playing Yahtzee.”

Donita: “I put the leftover chicken in the fridge.”
Donita: “Then I opened it up to eat some.”
Donita: “But it was cold.”
Me: “Sadness”

A lovely conversation

Context: I had just gotten home from a 35 mile bike ride…in the rain and hail…with a flat tire. I call my fiancĂ©.

Donita: Are you coming over?
Me: Would you like me to?
Donita: That’s a dumb question.
Me: Should I take a shower first?
Donita: Do you smell really bad?
Me: That’s a dumb question.