Biggest fan

1 Fan

See that? I have a fan. Somebody out there likes my blog. My one loyal fan is what keeps me going. Without that support, I would not be where I am today.

Is it bad that I’m my only fan?

Oh bother

Worst blog

Sweet, this blog has been nominated for Worst Blog of All Time! This is an extreme honor for me, so go there and vote for for worst blog of all time. (or other categories if you must)

Worst Blog Of All Time

Fresh garbage

If you’re one of the 0.002 people who visit this blog regularly, you may have noticed that I haven’t written anything on here since I was married a month and a half ago. You’re welcome. I’ve had a lot of things occupying my time. Did I mention I was married? I’m hoping to launch my new website soon. When that happens I’ll be moving this blog directly to My site will have a lot more functionality then, and it will be a lot easier for me to update it. Not that anyone cares how easy I make my own job. But unfortunately for you, you’ll have a lot more of this garbage to read.

1 Year, 100 Posts

Today completes one full year of blogging for me, and at the same time this is also my 100th blog article. In one year I have blogged about toilet paper three times, dead cats two times, poor eyesight four times, and made fun of myself countless times. But 100 posts doesn’t necessarily mean I’m a good writer, it just means I don’t have a life.

The hairless hairdo

I was waiting in line the other day to get my hair cut when I saw an older guy with hardly any hair left sitting in one of the barber chairs. Now if he wanted to cut off what little was left of his hair, that would be fine with me, but what confused me even more was that he was looking through a book of hair styles that really wouldn’t work with the little bit of fuzz that he had left.

Anyway, as I was getting my hair cut, the hair stylist had to leave me for a little while to tend to another customer. So I sat there and waited, and waited. Not that I mind waiting. It gives me a chance to think of something useless to write about in my blog. The only thing that bugged me was that my nose was itching and I couldn’t itch it because my hands were stuck under the giant bib.

Murder Helpline

I was looking at my blog statistics the other day, glancing through the usual visitors from all over the place who found my blog by either typing an obscure phrase into a search engine, or clicked on a link someplace. I get visitors from all over the globe: Tokyo, Japan; Paris, France; Quebec, Canada; Monterrey, Mexico; Brussels, Belgium; you name it. Even places I’ve never heard of before, much less pronounce, like Tbilisi, UK and Gelsenkirchen, Germany. But one interesting visitor found my blog by doing an MSN search for “Murder planning.” You heard me right; my blog is the 89th result on MSN for Murder planning. How cool is that!

If Paul had a blog…

Have you ever wondered what Paul the Apostle would write about if he had a blog? Well I have. So I did a comprehensive internet search, and you’ll never believe what I found. Suspended far out in the realm of cyberspace; highly encrypted, and almost indecipherable; I found out that Paul actually did have a blog. I’ve decrypted it, debugged it, and published it at It’s a very interesting blog with exclusive, never before seen writings and thoughts from the man himself. However, a giant rift in the space-time continuum created a little problem. Instead of all of Paul’s blog posts being decrypted all at once, the bend in the continuum caused each post to be published with respect to the time it was published. As a result, you’ll have to keep checking back to Paul’s blog as the decryption process continues.

Who woulda thunk it

I just heard the strangest, most pathetic news. I couldn’t believe it, it was that ridiculous. And this even beats the story where that one guy tried robbing a gas station but there wasn’t much money in the register so he tied up the cashier and ran the register himself for a couple hours. That’s nothing compared to what I just heard. So hang on, you might want to sit down for this. Of all the completely useless things people can waste their time on, I found out that somebody actually reads my blog. (Oh, and if you’re reading this, you know who you are.)