In case anyone was wondering, I had a happy Christmas and a merry new year. My post-Christmas recovery time has mostly consisted of picking the lint off of my new clothes, consuming an entire jar of Tootsie Rolls that I don’t know what else to do with, and pulling the booger glue off of the back of my gift cards. And also working off all those heaps of Christmas cookies. If you’re wondering how I’m working them off, I would say mostly by watching movies and staring at a computer screen. I’ve also spent some time reading the best blonde joke ever.