The Mental Challenge

I’ve always wondered if I might have some sort of a mental disability. If I did I wouldn’t be smart enough to realize it, and no one would be mean enough to tell me.

Anyone out there brave enough to let me know?

By Josh Meyer  |  07.21.2011 3:16 pm  |   Comment

How to Make Fun of Yourself – Lesson 2

Thanks to my blog post on how to make fun of yourself, I am now the first result on Google for “how to make fun of yourself”. I am the world’s top source for self-destruction. Yay.

Making fun of yourself is normally an ability that you’re born with. You might be a mutant, a clown face, or just a plain old loser. Luckily I’m all of the above. When you’re blessed with so many disfigurements, it can be fun to point them out to the world. But if you’re still having trouble knocking yourself, here’s a formula that just might do the trick. I give you: The Perfect Formula for the Imperfect Person.

How to Make Fun of Yourself - A perfect formula for an imperfect person

By Josh Meyer  |  01.04.2011 4:27 pm  |   Comments (2)

Goes Without Saying

At the time of this writing, the phrase “needless to say” gets over 25 million results on Google. That’s saying a lot for a term that by its own definition should never appear in writing or speech.

By Josh Meyer  |  08.27.2010 8:11 pm  |   Comment

Two-For-One

Redundancy
When I was a kid I had an idea for a washing machine that automatically dries the clothes. It seemed so obvious to me, and I was sure that it would be mass produced and raking in money for someone before I could even tell anyone my idea. It’s been years, and every time I look at those two hunks of metal and plastic I wonder why it still hasn’t happened. One of these machines can cost thousands of dollars, and you’re telling me I need to buy two of them? If you look at a modern washer and dryer, you’ll see that they’re identical. They have the same size compartment and the same moving parts. With all of our modern technology and brilliant minds, how have we not combined these two redundant appliances? Are all the world’s scientists and engineers too busy to find time to shove a blower into a washing machine?

By Josh Meyer  |  07.15.2010 4:32 pm  |   Comments (1)

Out of the Picture

My wife and I decided we’d like to get some new pictures of the two of us. Of course, me being a photographer, I grabbed my tripod and remote control and did it myself. We had fun and I felt like we got some good pictures. But when I loaded them onto my computer and started flipping through them, I puked a little. One side of all the pictures was beautiful and radiant, while the other side resembled a retarded rat that was hit by a truck and knocked into a barrel of toxic waste.

But towards the end I reached a photo that looked surprisingly good. It’s hard to understand why. Everything about the shot was wrong. It was an accidental exposure and it was very out of focus. I think the thing that makes the picture work so well is the visibility of certain elements of the subject. Have a look for yourself.

Josh & Donita Meyer

Now if you’re thinking that I’m just being modest and the rest of the pictures actually looked good, bear in mind that you didn’t see the other pictures. Pray you never will.

By Josh Meyer  |  07.27.2009 12:46 pm  |   Comment

Miracles

Cole (3 years old): Do you know what Jesus doos when you have a cough?
Me: What does Jesus do?
Cole: He makes the cough go away.
Me: Oh. What does Jesus do when you cut your finger?
Cole: He tells you to go to the doctor.

By Josh Meyer  |  04.22.2009 2:29 pm  |   Comment

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