The Electronic Bible

I got my wife a sweet pink Bible for Christmas. But I guess it’s sweeter than I originally thought. Apparently it lists specific operating temperatures because now she’s all worried about it getting too cold or too hot. I’m not sure what it does better than a regular analog Bible, but I’m still looking for the system requirements and the troubleshooting tips.

By Josh Meyer  |  01.22.2008 12:59 pm  |   Comment

Mutant

I’ve never really had a specific topic to blog about, until I looked back and realized I’ve had a somewhat ongoing theme of making fun of myself. Just do a search on this site for “loser” and you’ll see what I mean. (Yes, I have nothing better to do.) So to be on topic, here are 6 reasons why I might be a mutant.

1. My right thumb is fatter than my left thumb
2. I have Amblyopia (lazy eye)
3. When I was sized for my wedding ring, they had to make a special order because they don’t usually have mens sizes that small
4. I have super huge nostrils
5. I have a crooked face and “chia” hair
6. I assume my mom had a reason for always calling me “pumpkin head”

By Josh Meyer  |  01.17.2008 5:51 pm  |   Comment

Biggest fan

See that? I have a fan. Somebody out there likes my blog. My one loyal fan is what keeps me going. Without that support, I would not be where I am today.

Is it bad that I’m my only fan?

By Josh Meyer  |  01.11.2008 11:14 am  |   Comment

Bozo

I recently cut my hair; all of it. I’ve been asked countless times why. I’m really not so sure why. The only “why” I know is why I grew my hair long to begin with. I was reminded of this as my hair began to grow back. As you can see from this detailed (and frighteningly accurate) diagram, there are two reasons why I miss my longer hair.

[Reason 1]: Sideways ‘fro; otherwise known as “bozo” hair. This would be a very good explanation as to why I was never seen without a hat.

[Reason 2]: I needed something to cover my face. I always used to wonder if my face was crooked, or if it was just my glasses. People always reassured me it was my glasses. I must have had dozens of pairs of glasses, and strangely they were all crooked. Well now that I’m liberated from glasses, I know they were lying.

By Josh Meyer  |  01.01.2008 3:44 pm  |   Comment